Hello friends. To most i am know as Jules. To few i am know as Rusty. And to one i am know as the Wisest Companion. My other site has refused my longing for clarity in words...or am i just incapable..well...whatever the deal, i am here now. i know, isnt this exciting? Well...hmm..recap recap recap....well you know my title, know you must know me. I have been told i am a complicated person. (mad props to dr. silverman for that) i am hated by most and just dealt with by others. but enough a...

So, it is Thursday, November 27th 2003. And i am 11 days sober. but in a few hours, i shall be at 0 days...OHHH yeahhh...i love having no will power. but it is all good in the hood as they say because my parents will be making sure i dont get toooo drunk. but anyhoo....i went out last night. 1 up for the Julester. i went to the livingston mall with Atom, Steve, and Bhoomer. Fun was had by all. and today, today is Thanksgiving. We are giving thanks for being upper middle class white people w...

Today is snow. It is snowing quite a bit if i do say so. we more than i foot if my guestamations are precise. It is saturday, and tonight i dont have a.a. because of the snow...which is quite nice and quite disapointing because i have nothing to do besides sit and play and keep the lonley housewife company. Its my mitzvah i suppose.... The day of yester i hung out with Kaylan and Kari until Kari left. Kaylan's lover stopped by, who goes by the name of Emma if i do believe so. She seems qu...

CITIZENS OF MY LIFE~ hello. as weird and twisted it may seem....i think it would be Hitler for a day...when he was alive and all....just to be like...so totally out there. and yeah...ill shut up now. i mean i am "jewish" and all OHHHHHH and shouts to my main man Jason "ULTIMATE FRISBEE RULES" Bergman. we wore almost the exact outfit to school today. Tan cordaroys or as adam k. would say cordagays\emoroys. but those, plaid button up shirt and black sweater over...we looked kickin...AND A...

howdy partners. this week is going by nicely. bascially cause i havent gone to school for the first two periods this whole week...but what are you gonna do about that?? ENJOY IT. ive been sleeping late as hell, which reminds me, mummy dearest is asleep so it is time to get more of my valuum out of my bottle which she has oh so carefully hidden....in her sock draw! hahahhahahhahhahah loser mom. but....all is well as long as i am medicated. monday-dont remember what i did......so i guess it w...

Hell there. i had so many things to write this week, but ever time i sat down to write....my ADD would kick in. And i would stare out my window. But some highlights i must recap! hair- its dyed again. its back to just my or....ummm A natural color. DAARRRkkk brown. it looks quite sexy. well thats what my mom says! hahhahaha im not to fond of it yet. OHHH YEAHHHHH i got permission from the parental units to miss A.A. last night and go out. imagine that. Jules out on a saturday living it up...

Thursday is upon us. Ive welcomed it with open arms as for tomorrow is Friday. Very special day, as i have no a.a. meeting that i am attending! As of right now, i'm sitting at my computer in pjs listening to Bright Eyes. Yesterday i played at the dancing goat. It was good. Fine FIne. My parents are still out, and its 9:00 and im waiting for Jon to call so i may get some cigarettes. i have nothing left to add i suppose...i shant bore you no more. Happy living, Jules

let me respond to a few comments. 1. Everyone is mad at me for stupid reasons and i use this place to vent, so of course its gonna sound fucking negitive. 2. i didnt think i speak jibba jabba. 3. im 16,and im not allowed to drink cause im supposed to be in rehab. but there are a few obsticles in the way of it. i do have a few...."issues" but hell, i have to work through them to get over it. and im trying hard as fuck. 4. Well thank you for hoping that everything gets easier and i know it d...

So hmmm.. i havent been up to much lately, some how, i got every fucking person in the world mad at me. but, i cant worry about that right now, i need a 2 minute break on that subject. Yesterday for Christmas eve, i went to kari's house and kaylan and ashlee came too. Kari's aunt had a party and i was supposed to leave at like 3:30\4. and the other two were supposed to leave at like 4:30\5. but of course my fucked up parents had to pick up before they got me so i like was sitting in the basem...

So. last night. i broke up with steve. I mean, i didn't want to, but i had to cause i didn't want to hurt him anymore. Because right now in the Life of Jules, there is a bit of turbulance. Long story short...he wants a serious relationship, and i can't give that to him right now, and by my actions, that i had used in an approach to further us apart, i had hurt him. AND I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO...cause i was scared. Scared i had actually found a person who could appreciate me for who i was and...

ONCE AGAIN. i cut the inside of my eyelid with a piece of paper and man it hurts like shit...Well, i've never done it before, but it sounds like something that would constantly happen to me. Well, yesterday i found out that im going to Aruba for winter break. WHERE THE FUCK did my parents get the idea that i would enjoy sitting on a plane BY MYSELF for many hours to go see my aunt and uncle in aruba who are stuck in the 80's. TEll me, WHERE THE FUCK DID THEY GET THAT IDEA?? especially since i ...

Today, is the first day, i went, to a beauty parlor, in THREE YEARS! -remind me never to go again. But, nah, it was okay...the guy dyed my hair REALL REALLY dark. It looks.....swanky. but that is all for today, besides, today should be thursday, cause then tomorrow could be friday. Also known as Jules-day. DAMNIT BEAU, YOU KNOW ITS TRUE. i rock fridays like NO OTHER PERSON. but, i mean, i must stay humble about it. but once again, this is all for now. Peace and Love and broccilli. (J...

.......so....... We got lots of catching up to get on with. Last weekend was FUN beyond all belief. Alcohol+Weed+Pete's pool table = me having lots of fun and making an ass out of myself, and getting introuble with steve But we're good for now. But friday, im gonna try and get drunk, but still be home at like 10. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA lets see how that goes.... cause Saturday i got class and another photo shoot so i dont really want to be dead and puking and fat. Speaking of which my diet is...

HeAdAcHE!!!!!!!!!!!!! but i took some valium...dont worry...ill be fine. School was tidious today. 3 test and lab. FUN?!?! you bet it was.. now, im headaching it up..holler...and talking to steve online cause i can not bear the phone. I need a nap and thank god i dont have homework...well i do...but im sure as hell not doing it. Good grief..the best oxymoron ever.. i just said that to steve, and i was thinking about it. Good Grief.. its beautiful is there anything as bad grief? re...

Hmm. haha where to begin. I've been bad. wait, no. i did something that wil\has and will most likely make me very happy for a long time. You noticed me. and thats what i want. i wanted someone to notice me, and it just so happened to be you, and im glad it was you. very glad. Since i've talked to you, everything is foggy and unclear, yet so clear and right in front of me and i now i'm aware that im the one that complicates things for myself. ME. noone else. ME. You scare me to happiness. and i...